Life Is Hard

The other day, I learned the passing of Mr. Ben Roderos, the father of one of my childhood friends, Rodel Roderos. He was 74 and died after suffering heart ailment.

"Tiyoy", as he was best known, was a kind and a very good husband and a father of 6. I witnessed how nice he was to Rodel and the rest of his kids. Rodel and I were classmates in Kindergarten. I noticed how responsible Tiyoy was to him. He would fetch Rodel at the school everyday. Up until Rodel was in Grade and Highschool. Unfortunately, during HS, Rodel and I seperated when my family had to move to another place. We then had new sets of friends and lost communications. Although my father and Tiyoy could still often see each other. Tiyoy was one of my father's best drinking buddies. However, my father has stopped drinking alcoholic beverages. He treated Tiyoy as his uncle.

Tiyoy's family and mine are very good friends. I remember when my father was stubbed by someone and was rushed to the hospital, mum had to watch him all-day. By then, my brother and I were just 5 and 6 years old, respectively, and were not allowed to visit to the patient, as hospital rules. We didn't have any relatives that live nearby our house, so the Roderos took care of us. We live at their humble house for few days and were treated as part of the family.

When my family found out that Tiyoy was rushed to the hospital, we didn't have any thoughts, but go and see him, especially that one of his children told us that his doctor confided that there was no chance of surviving in his case. So my family immediately went to the hospital in the middle of the night. Regardless that mum has to go to work early in the morning the next day.

Tiyoy was comatose in the Intensive Care Unit. Though I didn't go inside the ICU due to the hospital fears, I could feel how hard it was seeing your loved ones unconscious, as I saw the faces of Tiyoy's children. Some were silently crying, others, including Rodel was trying to be strong for their father. The next day, at our house, mum and I were wondering why my father was not still home at 6AM. He used to go home before 6AM from his voluntary job, a baranggay police. But that day, he came home late. He came at 9AM brought the bad news that his once treated uncle passed away.

Tiyoy was a retired Navy. As honor, there was a 21-gun salute during his internment, as the naval marching band played the funeral song. It was so hair raising. Tears fell down, as the remains were pulled down to bury. Relatives and friends sent their sympathies to the family of Tiyoy, and prayed for his soul. May he rest in peace.

Losing loved ones is one of my worst fears. If destiny permits, I would want to be the first to pass before my loved ones. I don't ever want to see the other way around. But then, we do not know when would that happen. That's why with this incident that Tiyoy had, I'm showing more love to my loved ones and I'm now doing my best to make them happier with my company.

"Life Is Hard", as how Miss Julia Campbell entitled her entry which she dedicated to the late father of her friend, which this entry was inspired by.

My family is praying for Tiyoy's soul. May he rest in peace. And, for his family, please stay strong.

What ravages of spirit

conjured this temptuous rage

created you a monster

broken by the rules of love

and fate has lead you through it

you do what you have to do

and fate has led you through it

you do what you have to do ...

and I have the sense to recognize that

I don't know how to let you go

every moment marked

with apparitions of your soul

I'm ever swiftly moving

trying to escape this desire

the yearning to be near you

I do what I have to do

the yearning to be near you

I do what I have to do

but I have the sense to recognize

that I don't know how

to let you go

I don't know how

to let you go

a glowing ember

burning hot

burning slow

deep within I'm shaken by the violence

of existing for only you

I know I can't be with you

I do what I have to do

I know I can't be with you

I do what I have to do

and I have sense to recognize but

I don't know how to let you go

I don't know how to let you go

I don't know how to let you go

...

I don't know how to begin with my today's entry. I don't know if I am upset, or what. It has something to do with Miss Julia Campbell, yeah. No, not about the case, but about her death. I've been remembering her death month-aniversarries every 9th of the month. I even dedicated the date I started having Blog to that date, the 9th. But I've found out earlier, while I was digging up news about her, that it's not April 9, the day she died. It's April 8th, her death anniversary. I do not know how to explain it to you, guys. It was April 9 that I first heard on news on TV and Radio. And, I then realized that it was indeed, April 8 >_<

Please bear with me :(

I'm BACK! :)

Yeah, I’m not gonna be as busy as I was in the last school semester anymore. (Well, we'll see) Yup, the first sem has ended and I’m on my way to the next. Yesterday was actually my first day of school for the 2nd sem. But let me tell you first about the last one.

The first of the two terms this school year was so hectic, as I told you, guys, in my past entries. I was so busy that I couldn't update my Blog often. I didn’t even have the time remembering Miss Julia Campbell’s death month-anniversaries. I could say that I had never been so busy as I was in the last sem. I used to “not giving much attention” to my school assignments, but in the last sem, I did.

Last sem, I was enrolled in two courses, the Teaching Course in Hotel and Restaurant Management, and the Feasibility Research, which I often talked about. Teaching Course is a course about teaching in my field, Hotel and Restaurant Management, and its teaching techniques and strategies. By the way, my school is the only hospitality school in Metro Manila that requires the Teaching Course in the curriculum. In this course, we had to act as a teacher in the class and to be evaluated by our teacher, who is also the department head of HRM in my school. Each of us was given 3 topics that were to be demonstrated in the class one at a time. So, in future, we can be teachers, too. I could say that this course had put a little pressure on my, but I think I did my best. Yup, just a bit of pressure compared to my 2nd course, the Feasibility Research. I’ve mentioned before that this course needed a careful study on building up a restaurant. And, thank God, my group, or should I say, most of the members of the group did their best in our project. At first, when were just starting, I often complain about my group mates. I didn’t like them. I thought all of them were not that dedicated to the project, but as the sem goes by, I’ve proven myself wrong. Maybe, I didn’t see their concentration when we were just starting, but I could say that they were indeed, industrious as we went on through the project.

My group had countless, sleepless nights together at one house, just doing the projects. Especially in the last part of the sem, when our teacher was rushing us in our book. I was not able to attend all those nights, though. But, I made sure that I could stay with them up to the midnight and usually would go home alone. I also had myself 3 consecutive nights and days sleepless at home, and followed by another after couple of days, just doing my tasks in the project. Anyway, yeah, we made a book. We put into a book the Feasibility Research we had. It was a 7-chaptered book.

See how hectic the course was.

Few days after the mid-term examination, my group had heard from the other groups that the deadline for the submission of the book’s first draft was on September 7, earlier than my group knew. But then, we believed in rumors, and we then only had 5 days left. We rushed ourselves. Doing nothing, but the project, since by then, we still have more works to be done. Our goal was to meet the deadline.

The deadline of we “thought” the submission of first draft of book came. My group was so surprised to see no book was on top of our teacher’s table, the first was my group’s. We thought we were late that day. Eventually, we found out that we submitted the book a week early to the supposed to be deadline. We were relief. Until the original deadline for submission came. My group was shocked that only few groups had submitted the drafting. The batch of the few books, including my group’s, had the advantage of being checked first, by our teacher. To those who submitted their drafting late, it was so unlucky that our teacher lack time of checking books. It was their faults, anyway. Then the books that were checked had returned to the groups. My group’s first draft had a lot of comments and suggestions for changes from our teacher. My group was thinking if she really wanted to make our book more meaningful or she was just putting more pressure on us. Either way, we still made the changes.

Our teacher scheduled a deadline once again, but this time, for the final book. My group had sleepless nights again, doing a lot of changes. The final book was done, and we submitted 4 copies to the, not to our teacher anymore, but to the board of expert panelists. It was for them to study our project, which would, in few days, be presented and discussed to them by the groups.

It was like the “judgment day” for the fourth year students facing the panelists to present the 4 months-in-the-making project. Different emotions my group had before our turn. My group, by the way, was the first group of the 2nd batch of presenters to present. And, of course, we prayed before we started the presentation.

Before our turn, me and my group mates was nervously reviewing and preparing for our individual topics, but as we entered the “conference room”, the nervousness turned to excitement. Yeah. We didn’t know how it happened, but we were so excited to begin with our presentation as we saw the panelists. Oh, let me introduce to you the board of panelists. The panelists was composed of 4, but unfortunately, one of them, who was in-charge of asking the financial matters, couldn’t make it, due to an illness. She is also our school’s Accounting Department Head, Mrs. Aura Marie M. Baetiong. Anyway, the remaining 3 were, one of them was the Dean of the Instruction in our school, Dr. Leonisa C. Del Rosario, then a teacher in HRM Department, Mr. Robert P. Mallon, and the guest panelists, a College Dean in a reputable and distinguished hospitality university here in Manila, Dr. Gloria Baken W. Siy.

I’m not gonna go in to the whole details about the group’s presentation, but instead its highlights. The guest panelist, Dr. Siy said that she was, for the first time, impressed, out of the groups that had then presented since the first batch. That was so flattering, especially to me, since I was not that confident with our project. My group a number of “very goods” from all the panelists, especially they interrogated the financial aspect of our project.

Lieza Arboladura, my group mate who made the computation for the project’s financial aspect, did a very good job. Chapter 5, the Financial Aspect, was one of the stuff that our teacher suggested my group to make changes to. It was just few days before the submission of the final book when Lieza made the changes. I was a witness of her almost giving up. I heard her kept on complaining, that she didn’t know how the proper computation was. I even heard her, in the middle of the night, arguing with two of our group mates, Amy and Lei Ann, who were also part of the “financial aspect” team. They were arguing about the computation, “no, it’s like that, it’s like this..” as they exchanged words figuring out the proper computation. Until the two of them totally gave up, took a nap and left Lieza still figuring out the correct computation. I was still awake then doing the typing job when Lieza shouted and said, “I made it!!” By the way, chapter 5, the financial aspect, was consists of the project’s prospective projected sales, income statement and expenses.

We couldn’t explain what we felt. After the presentation and came out of the conference room, most of us cried, tears of joy, probably. Most of the groups from the two batches of presenters came out the conference room so relief, full of smiles in their faces, one of the groups were even jumping and shouting, but my group, we cried. That was really unexpected to hear wonderful comments from the panelists, most especially from Dr. Siy.

After the presentation of all group from the 2nd batch, where my group belonged, a meeting was held headed by our beloved teacher :) Our teacher, by the way, was also in the conference room during each group’s presentation. During the meeting, our teacher congratulated all of us. She was so proud of us. Of course, there was a group that had problems in their project. The board of panelists didn’t like their presentations and their financial computation was incorrect. So, they had to repeat those stuff. And, guess who was endorsed by our teacher to help the poor group? Of course, it’s Lieza! :) Other groups from the first batch even sought help from Lieza to assist them to their computation problem.

I remember when we were just starting, my group was like the underdogs. Once being embarrassed by our teacher, and felt we were the least favourite among the groups. The quietest group, and the group that didn’t have cool cellphones, didn’t dress fashionably, and the group that didn’t eat expensive foods, but tell me who’s the one crying now. Hehe, just kidding :p Peace out!



--- T H A N K Y O U ' s ---

First of all, I wanna thank the Big Guy up there, for granting me a cool group to be with. You know how much I prayed for that. Thanks for the guidance and for always keeping me and my group mates safe in and outside the school the whole school semester.
I would like to thank those who believed in me and sent their wishes, my family, though you didn't really say you were wishing me lucks, my friends, my online friends, my old classmates, thanks for those advises, my group mates, Lieza Arboladura (who by the way, got the highest grade among the groups! in our course feasibility research), Maria Hilda Besmonte and Lei Ann Egos, (two of my group mates who easily get hurts) I apologize once again about my silly jokes, hehe. Amy Catabay, nice jobs on defining terms, Amelyn Broso and Heluyo Ramos, (two of my group mates whom I often talked about, lol. It was so lucky of them not being asked by the panelists. Nice prayers :) ), and of course, the group leader, Teresa Mansujeto, you really intimidated me by your words during the rushing of our first draft :). I believe I was really destined to be in the group. It was so spontaneous to be with you, but I guess that was meant to be :) Thanks for those memories and cool moments of laughters and excitements, nervouseness and pissed outs. And for sharing coughs and colds :) I love you, guys, and goodluck in this sem ahead.

To my parents, Ray and Thelma for your support, especially financial. This project was so expensive, thanks so much to you, guys. I'm dedicating this wonderful project to both of you. I'm also dedicating this project to my group of friends that were mentioned above, you know who you are. And, of course, last but not the least, I'm dedicating the success of this project to my inspiration, the late, Miss Julia Campbell. She was one of my inspirations to get through when my group had the first rejection. And, yeah, I would like to acknowledge the 7th death month-anniversary on Friday, the 9th of the month. I can't believe it's been more than a halfyear now :( I'll try to dig up some updates about the case. I heard her mum was here to testify for her daughter about the case. And I didn't hear anything about the case since then. I'll try to get some.


We walk without a sound
Across a barren landscape
Your eyes are twisted down
To the dew entrailed ground
We watch the stars
As they slowly fade away
And in the clearing sky I see
The cold stone face of morning
Setting in on me

It's a strange world
It's a very strange world
That leaves me holding on
To nothing when there's nothing
Left to lose

Your touch is cold and damp
The devil's in your eyes
I wonder why I always
Let you lead me on this way
'Cause you see only
What you want to see
Feel only as you want to
And I am on the outside
Of your strange world

We're walking hand in hand
We'll walk this way forever
Our eyes have risen to the water's edge
Watching with the tides
The stars have fallen
To another day
And the sun warms our path to find
That reason leaves us far behind
In this strange world

Final Defense

Wow, it's been a quite while since the last time I updated my Blog. I couldn't believe I would be busy as this. And, nope, I'm not done with my busy-ness yet, but I'm almost there. Yup, it's still the Feasibility Study that's making me busy. And, guess what..tomorrow will be my actual defense. The four months in the making project will be needing to defend to the expert panelists tomorrow. Actually, it's just about 7 hours from now. And, I'll gladly appreciate your wishes, guys :( I need those :(

Anyway, I'll keep you posted about the defense. Our group is not that ready, but still I'm hoping for a good outcome. If we fail in this course, we still need to retake it and extend for one year.

Anyway, hope you guys are all doing good.

I'll keep you posted :)

Huggies :)

"WHEN YOU GO"

There's so much to offer so much to throw away
The ever present darker side is making you color blind.
But luckily my blinded one I know you and not what you've done
Not what you've done
You beautiful soul

When you go a feeling that chokes
When you go a feeling that soaks
When you go away into the unknown
When you go you break my heart
Don't you go cause it chokes, it chokes

Given all you are inside a shaft of light that you can't hide
But an idle mind will dominate and feel all the demons steak
When you walk around that oldstreet
Where you lived and who you were then
You can have it again
Everything's not broke

It's a fever that soaks you go away
Into the unknown
Into the unknown
When you go you break
Don't you go yeah cause it chokes, it chokes

--JULIA CAMPBELL--

Last Thursday, the 9th day of the month, was her 4th death month anniversarry. Prayers for her soul.

Over the sea and far away
She's waiting like an iceberg
Waiting to change
But she's cold inside
She wants to be like the water
All the muscles tighten in her face
Buries her soul in one embrace
They're one and the same
Just like water
The fire fades away
Most of everyday
Is full of tired excuses
But it's to hard to say
I wish it were simple
But we give up easily
You're close enough to see that
You're the other side of the world to me
On comes the panic light
Holding on with fingers and feelings alike
But the time has come
To move along
The fire fades away

The Past Weeks

As update to my last entry, my classmate who was offended by my silly joke and I are doing fine. When that incident happened, I was so scared, that the smooth bonding that was then starting might lost, but then she said she understood it. So, back in gaining cool bonds, but this time, as I said, I'll watch my words :) Yup, she's one of my group mates in my thesis group that I've just met this Semester, and we're just starting a cool smooth bonds. I'm getting to know them more and so are they to me.

Well, since I've mentioned about it, the thesis, my group is approaching to the fifth, and as my old classmates, who finished the course already, are saying, the most difficult chapter. After chapter 5, then two more to go, and we're done. We're not completely done with chapters 3 & 4, though. Chapters 3 & 4 was no joke. The past few weeks were so hectic. My group was so worn-out on our individual tasks. We submitted the said chapters for re-checking, but only chapter 3 was checked. And, as what we had on our first report, back in late June, our teacher found a lot of corrections and mistakes, but this time, just the little ones. More on typographical and grammatical errors, so we were not the upset anymore.

Well, about the problem with my group mates that I mentioned before? Uhmm..I would say that it's not that big anymore. Most members in the group are having cool bonding, that makes a great communication within the group. Everyone is doing their part and tasks. But not completely, as I said. There are still ...some who don't give their best 100%, not even close to it. How would a group workout and would have an excellent outcome if one of their members is not functioning? If he/she is not doing his/her tasks? If he/she doesn't have the initiative? That is the big problem of my group.

One of my group mates is not participating. She just enters the class, secures her attendance and sits on her chair all 3-hour long, while the rest of the group are haggard on their tasks. The group doesn't know how to motivate her anymore. We gave her two assignments, but neither were correct. There was a lot or... I would say that all of them were erroneous. And we had to repeat all of those by ourselves, which was so time consuming. I don't understand why she doesn't see the benefits of doing her part in this project, it's for her own good, too.

As I said, THESIS is the hardest part in the college life. We have to make a 7 chaptered book as the result of our feasibility project. When the book is finished, we still have to defend its contents to the selected expert panelists. The grades will be depending on how we defend. The grade of a particular member will be the grade of the whole group. If one doesn't know the details about the project, and was asked by the panelists, which is inevitable, it would affect the grades the group will get. Now, how this girl would know the details, if she doesn't participate and usually doesn't attend the outside the school meetings? We are almost done with the first 4 chapters, but she hasn't shared anything. Not even thoughts or ideas. She's good in contributing financially, though. But we need mental! Well, I will send her a letter, a motivation letter. I will try to motivate her. So, wish me luck, guys. This is the only problem my group is having right now. If we couldn't solve this, we wouldn't get the grades we are aiming, or much worst, fail, because of her!

Anyway, still about the past weeks. Our country was experiencing from droughty. Yup, I said on my previous entry that this season the rain and typhoon was supposed to come, but nothing came. A lot of farms and major water sheds are shorting water stocks. The government sponsored a cloud seeding, but it was not enough. It was weird to have drought in the rainy season.

A cardinal called for a prayer request for the rain to come and supply farms and dams. Few days later, a heavy rain came, brought by the two typhoons. With that, farms were watered and water in major dams are back in to its normal volume. If the rain didn't come, the major water company was supposed to shortage their supply to households starting this week, which was a bad news.

Mum said that it's true, the rain came because of the prayers. I was amazed with how powerful prayers are. But then, that requested rain brought calamities. Some provinces were drowned by overhead floods, there were casualties, minor landslides, and floods, floods and floods in the Metro Manila, and of course, classes were suspended. It's nice that prayers was granted, but so sad when there were lives taken :(

Lastly, yeah, I will mention it. I've just turned a year older exactly a week ago. Just want to thank my linked friends who remembered it. I appreciate it, guys. Luckily, all of the people I was expecting to greet me have greeted me. This is a late thank you, but still, thank you :) For those who didn't know my birthday or have forgotten to greet me, you can still do so, hehe :)

Anyway, hope you guys are all doing great. Have a great and a wonderful time there :)
Huggies :)

P.S. : Of course I wont forget about it. Happy 20th Birthday to my dear friend, Ira Roslan. Whom I promised to write a letter to, but I haven't been yet, hehe. Happy Birthday, my dear sis. Hope you're having a great day wherever you are right now. I wish you all the best and of course, good health. I love you :) Big hugs. Leo RuLz! \m/

My Stupid Mouth

It's a part of my interaction with my closest friends and with my coolest classmates to give jokes or something that is funny, to them. Not because I want to be funny or anything, but I think it's in-nature in me. I knew it, that not all jokes are funny, not all jokes that I throw away are amusing, that some people are sensitive. How come I've forgotten about that?

Last Friday, I didn't know that I offended my classmate's feeling, because of my silly joke. Sorry, guys, can't tell you about the joke, it's too personal, and must not be broadcasted. Anyway, I've just found out about it when one of our classmates told me. I was so disappointed to myself about it. I know my joke was a bit offensive, but..it's just, I never thought she's the kind of person who easily gets hurt. I have just met her this Semester, so. Anyway, I apologized to her, she didn't say anything about it, but it seemed she accepted it. I promised myself to watch my words next time. I'm so guilty about it. I really am :'(


"My stupid mouth has got me in trouble
I said too much again
Oh, another social casualty
Score one more for me
How could I forget
Mama said "think before speaking"
No filter in my head
I'm never speaking up again
It only hurts me
I'd rather be a mystery than she desert me
Oh, I'm never speaking up again
Starting now"

My Negative Side

Nothing much to say, but I'd like to post something. My negative side:

-I easily give up
-I lack self-confidence
-I have a low self-esteem
-I easily get intimidated
-I don't speak English fluently
-I don't clean my room regularly, I always pray at night, though :p
-I often say bad words
-I don't use "po" and "opo" to my parents. I use it though to other elder people.
**'po' and 'opo' are words use when responding to the elders as courtesy. It must always attach on our every response.
-I am insomaniac
-I always crack my knuckles
-I'm irreverent to my father
-I'm not in to open forums. I don't like talking about serious stuff.
-I hate being asked questions about my father, likewise on my school.
-I don't cook nicely
-I bite finger calluses. My calluses, of course! :p
-I litter
-I'm a jinx and a bum person
-I don't dress nicely
-I don't have a good penmanship
-I'm ill-tempered person. Hehe, just kidding! :p
-I don't go to church regularly
-I'm always late when meeting with somebody. Filipino time, that is :p
-I'm impatient
-I don't talk too much, not even much.
-I cheat at school during examinations. I mean, I 'used' to :p
-I don't do my house chores with all my hearts. That would result me to 'accidentally' break our stuff like chinas.
-I'm not a good adviser. I don't think I give advice either.
-I hate vegetables! I hate hearing the crispness of the veggies whenever you bite them. Eeeiiiw >_<
-I'm not trustworthy. Just kidding :p
-I eat and drink cold stuff whenever I have cough and cold
-I am a hoarder
-I'm not the outspoken type. Most often I keep issues about something to myself.
-I have a messy hair!



***Happy 33rd Birthday to the two-time Academy Award winner, Hilary Swank :)

The Result Is Here

Few weeks ago, I've mentioned about the medical examination that I have to pass, for our course department to allow me to take my Hotel Practicum and In-Service Training on October. And I just got the result. It says I'm physically fit and that they are allowing on the said training! :) Thank God. I thought there was going to be a bad result. I was so worried. I remember, the night before the exam, I couldn't sleep, I was so worried about it, about the result and about the doctors. Now I'm relief. I'm so happy for the result that I got, all the tests that I had were normal and that I'm negative of any diseases. Well, actually, I sacrificed for this exam. I didn't take salty foods or other salty condiments and soft drinks for a month. Salty condiments, like iodized salt and fish sauce are like my dish accompanies when I'm eating, along with iced cold Coke. Those are stuff that I couldn't resist of not having with whenever I'm having meals, but I sacrificed it. And, it paid off. Thanks. Now, I'm eating with those again :)

But somehow, still a part of me feels bad. How if there are some who got health problems? It would be a hindrance for them. How could they take their Hotel training and graduate in March, if the doctors found problems on their tests? :( Anyway, I wish there is none, or if ever there are, I'm praying for them. Now, for those who have bad health, please don't lose hope. It still can be cured. Hopefully before October. I'm praying for you :(


Say it's true, black and blue, I can share your situation
Been holding our emotions back, will only make us cry
If you go, I know, but you know, it ain't so serious anyway
When the clouds arise well live on..
Ocean drive
Don't know why you're so blue
Sun's gonna shine on everything you do
And the sky is so blue
Sun's gonna shine on everything you do

:(

Their focus was on the State Of the Nation Address (SONA) of GMA. Today is the court trial on Juan Duntugan, the primary suspect to the Julia Campbell case. I've been waiting for this day, but unfortunately, I didn't get any news about the hearing. The news were all about the SONA!

To Thelma.

I know we've been in rough times these days, but please don't ever give up. Everything's gonna be fine, just keep the faith.

I love you and takecare always. See you later at home.

Lifted.

Tomorrow, I will be undergoing a medical exam that is required by our course department. This would be my first time to undergo a whole body exam and I'm so scared, especially that Doctors are one of my worst fears, along with hospitals. I'm also scared of what would be the results, it could be a bad one. I know I'm not perfectly healthy, I'm still I'm hoping for a good result, though. Okay, here it would go, if I didn't write anymore about the result in few days, it means I had a bad result.

Bad result could lead us, the students, to not being allowed to take our on-the-job and in-service training in Hotels on October. So, fingers' crossed.


And, this is my favourite part of my today's entry. Earlier this morning, I had a "very good" comment from my teacher! I got it from our assignment which was to make a lesson plan. Out of 23 students, -well, yeah, not all of us have submitted the assignments - only me had a "very good" comment. Our teacher even recommended my lesson plan to my classmates. I was so overwhelmed. Before that, I was late to that class. Nope, it was not that I woke up late, but I as I mentioned on my previous posts, it was because of heavy traffic! I was 15 minutes late, and I should have been considered as absent, but, luckily, our teacher forgot to check the attendance, my classmates said. She didn't even notice me when I came in. Seemed it was my day today, well, at least in school. Couldn't wait to tell you guys about it :) I was so excited :)

Anyway, hope you guys are all doing fine. Hope that you're lucky enough this day and would be overwhelmed, too :)
Have a great and a wonderful day :)

It's undisturbable the peace we've found
In a bright blue space up above the clouds
Where everything is understandable
You don't have to say anything too loud
When our luck runs out again
Brought back down to solid ground
I wouldn't say I'm mad about the rain
But we'll get through it anyway
We'll get back to the stars again
Cause we could be lifted.




P.S. I'm dedicating my "very good" comment, firstly, to Miss Julia Campbell, then to my dear friends who are linked here.

It's The 9th Day Of The Month Once Again

Nothing much to say. I just wanted to acknowledge the 3rd death month-anniversary of Miss Julia Campbell. I can't believe I'm on my 2nd month of blogging now. I'm still thanking her. I know I don't write good, most often my entries are non-sense, not to mention how I construct my sentences. But I can say I'm enjoying doing those. I'm using blog as my outlet. Thanks also to those who patiently keep on reading my blog. As for Miss Julia, I know she's now enjoying her eternal life with the Big Guy up there. I'm still praying for her, though.

Anyway, I didn't wanna mention about this here, but I couldn't help it. It's exactly a year now since I've been single. Anyway, that's about it. I don't wanna mention more about it. All I can say is that I haven't really moved on, as I mentioned on my previous entry. You know who you are, I miss you so much :(

I always needed time on my own
I never thought I'd need you there when I cry
And the days feel like years when I'm alone
And the bed where you lie is made up on your side

When you walk away I count the steps that you take
Do you see how much I need you right now

When you're gone
The pieces of my heart are missing you
When you're gone
The face I came to know is missing too
When you're gone
The words I need to hear to always get me through the day and make it ok
I miss you

I've never felt this way before
Everything that I do reminds me of you
And the clothes you left, they lie on the floor
And they smell just like you, I love the things that you do

We were made for each other
Out here forever
I know we were
All I ever wanted was for you to know
Everything I'd do, I'd give my heart and soul
I can hardly breathe I need to feel you here with me.




---P.S.---
If someone's grieving about a break up, there's a couple who just celebrated their, if I'm not mistaken, 2nd year anniversary as sweethearts, yesterday. My dear friends, Mike and Ira. I just wanna send them a shout out. Happy anniversary to you, guys. Hope you both are doing good and in good health. I'm wishing you all the best. I love you two :)

It Feels Great!

I could say that our group for my feasibility study is now doing good than the last time. Our communication is now going smooth. It proves it when we submitted our report last Tuesday. Our teacher liked it this time. No rejections. No derogatory words from her. We were so delighted with it.

Hope this good communication will last till the end of the Semester. Hope our bond will be tighter and tighter as we go through.



---MOURNING---
Well, my today's entry is unfortunately, not just about happy things. Yesterday, the vice-president and the son of the co-founder of our 78 year old school, Mr. Segundo Infantado Jr., died due to an illness. I forgot how it is being called, but it was because of his smoking habit. Our school is mourning for his lost. I could say this old man was very nice. I was able to have a little talk with him. This was years back, while I was waiting for my classmates. He saw me sitting on the bench seemed pissed. He approached to me and asked me what was the matter. I was so pissed then, because my classmates kept me waiting for almost two hours! Somehow with this old man's presence, I was entertained, even just for few minutes. He was really nice for a vice-president. He even asked me how my school was going. May he rest in peace.

Happy Birthday, Marit!:)

My linked friends know who Marit is, but for those who randomly found my Blog, Marit became the half of the former pop duo, M2M. Marit Elisabeth Larsen is a singer/songwriter from Norway, and has been my favourite artist ever!

This simple entry comes to greet our dearest Marit a happy, happy 24Th Birthday. Hope she's having a wonderful birthday. I wish her more success in life. Good luck to her on everything.

And, good luck to me on seeing her live here in the Philippines, hehe :)

P.S. You guys might wanna check how cool she is, you can do so. Visit: http://www.maritlarsen.com/

"I still know that I'm never gonna find you,

But I do believe that you're standing right behind

Will I ever get the answer to my questions.

Life will go on and on".

----ANOTHER BiRTHDAY----

What's with the month of July?! Michelle Branch, also one of my favourite artists, and does the same thing as our dearest Marit, celebrates her special day tomorrow. Michelle is the half of the country-pop duo, The Wreckers.

Seems talented people born in this month. I wish I was born in this month, too :)

Hey, I Think I Did Great!

I was still depressed about the rejection of our report last Tuesday, but when I woke up yesterday morning, I felt a bit pleasure when I realized I've dreamt of Miss Julia Campbell. I forgot about the whole details, but as far as I could remember, she was there as a judge. She was there (I don't know the place) along with the U.S. Ambassadress to the Philippines, Miss Kristie Kenney to judge -guess what- the coolest and graceful bungee jump move. Yup, I was one of the bungee jumper. That was funny, because I'm scared of heights. I wonder if I could do that in real life. It's funny, too, to see the U.S. Ambassadress there. Well, I couldn't recall it how my routine was, but I think I did great, hehe.

I don't know, though, what does that dream mean. Anyway, I'm happy to have her in my dream. Nope, I haven't recovered yet. I'm still a bit depressed.

P.S. You might be wondering why a photo of a duck. Well, I found it on Miss Julia's Flickr Account. It's cool, isn't it? :)

We Can Do Better Next Time, I Know We Can

Wow, it's been a while since the last time I updated my Blog. Well, I would supposed to still take a lot of time more for me to do it again if not with this thing that just happened earlier. I really needed an outlet to over come what I'm feeling right now.



I have mentioned in my last entry about my courses this semester. One of those is the feasibility study, which is, as they say, the hardest part of being a college student. Hardest, because it needs careful study for every details in our research project. Our group, by the way is doing a research on establishing a restaurant, since we are taking up Hotel and Restaurant Management.

Earlier this evening, our group has experienced how it is being rejected. Nope, it was not really our group, but our work. It was when our teacher found so many mistakes and corrections in our report. Every night during my summer vacation, I always prayed to God to give me a nice group to be with. A group that is dedicated to its work. It's not that I'm complaining with my group mates, but I think it was our fault why our work got rejected. I noticed right from the start that we are lacking communication, weak in sharing thoughts and ideas. Maybe because most of us have just met this semester. We still don't know each other that much. Each member, though is cooperative.

Our group was also pissed off, because we were embarrassed by our teacher. The way she rejected our report was so derogatory. She blatantly embarrassed us to the whole class. Couldn't help ourselves, but smiled sarcastically. Why did she has to say out loud our mistakes? She could have just called us and told us her comments and bad remarks silently, as how she does it with the other groups. Actually, I do not want to have a weird feeling on her, I don't even want to think that our group is her least favourite, but that's what we feel. I don't know. Or, maybe I'm just saying this, because I'm so disappointed. A part of me is saying that I'm just misinterpreting her. That somehow I'm still thinking she still observes fairness and impartiality. Well, we'll see in few days. Anyway, I still love her, she's still one of my favourite college teachers.

Earlier this evening when I came to class, I was in good spirit, but when our teacher has checked our report, I was disappointed. I was discouraged. I wanted to give up. I was sharing the same feeling with my group mates. I wanted to give up, I was like.. "If we have been rejected with the very first part of our reports, what more soon?" I was discouraged to go through, but I thought of Miss Julia Campbell. Nope, she didn't mention about her feasibility study when she was schooling on her Blog, but I just thought of her to go through. She was a brave girl. I'm not giving up. I know our group can do better next time.

So good luck to me and to my group mates. I will do my best to have a good communication within the group.

.

"Araw Ng Kalayaan"

I almost forgot to mention our Independence Day. Yup, it's today. And, we're celebrating our 109Th. Don't have anything to say about our history, sorry. Anyway, happy Independence day to me and to my fellow Filipinos world wide.

By the way, I wanna share with you guys, why I came to school with two minutes earlier to my schedule. As I've said, I left home early, but I was stuck in traffic. Maybe it has something to do with the celebration of the Independence day. Yesterday was the holiday, because our president, GMA, moved it, as extension to the weekend, but the actual Independence day is on June 12. I'm confused, because if she has moved the holiday to yesterday, why today is the celebration? It just caused traffic to the people who gone to work and to the students to their schools. Nope, I don't hate GMA, I love her. I love her, because she just conferred the Golden Heart Order on Miss Julia, hehe.

Happy Independence day :)
Big hugs,

On The Other News..

Today is my first day of class. My first class started at 7:30 AM. Thank God I was not late, I was two minutes early. Well, I left home early, but I was stuck in traffic. Anyway, I came to class a bit nervous, it's not because of the fear of how difficult my semester's course is, but fear of my classmates not liking my new hair-style, hehe.

Ofcourse, I'm just kidding :p I wasn't nervous when I came to my class, cuz I knew that I would be having my old cool classmates again. And, indeed,they still are, same faces, coolest as ever. Anyway, I have mentioned about my course, yeah, it is difficult this semester. In this sem, we will be having the hardest part on college life, the Thesis! Wish me luck, guys, that I would find a nice group to be with and to make our feasibility research well. Well, this is my last sem with difficult course, so, goodluck to me :)

Hope you guys are all doing good :)
*Huggies*

--Correction--

My bad. I really didn't catch the whole story about the news that I stated in my last entry about Miss Julia Campbell. I'm sorry, it is not a 'tree planting' like what I've first said was dedicated to her. Please, bare with me, I've just heard the news on an AM station with a choppy reception.


Anyway, the program was about a community in Baranggay in the municipality of Asipulo in Ifugao, ("baranggay" is like a district here) dedicating 12 hectares of forest land to Miss Julia. They built a memorial park in the name of her. It is the Julia Campbell Agro Memorial Park.






---STILL ABOUT JULIA---


Yesterday, June 11, our president, Mrs. Gloria Arroyo, GMA as she is known here, awarded the Golden Heart Order on Miss Julia, for her dedicated service to the Philippines. The Order of the Golden Heart award was established in 1954. It is given to government officials and civilians, including foreigners, who have helped improve the plight of impoverished Filipinos.

It is heart-warming to hear that people keep on remembering her. Hail to those who keep on doing so. I'm really hoping that she's happy wherever she is right now.


"We want more than this world's got to offer
We want more than the wars of our fathers
And everything inside screams for second life
We were meant to live for so much more
Have we lost ourselves?
We were meant to live"

"60th Day"

It's exactly 2 months now since my inspiration for having Blog, Miss Julia Campbell, passed away. Just wanna dedicate this simply entry to her.

Hope she's happy wherever she is right now.

"Sense of joy fills the air,
And I daydream and I stare
Up at the tree and I see
Your star up there"









---STILL ABOUT JULIA---



Five days ago, a tree planting was dedicated to the late Miss Julia. It was in Asipulo, Ifugao, the municipality where she was killed :(

Too bad, I didn't catch the whole story about the program. Anyway, we, her fans, (I'm not sure if "fan" is the appropriate term) appreciate that kind of program. I'm sure she would be happy if she could hear about it.

Rainy Season

Yup, summer here in the Philippines is officially over. And what's next? Of course, the rainy season. I could say most of the people here are longing for this season, (except me, I hate rain!) since we had been in the scorching heat of the sun on summer.

But rainy season comes up with negative stuff, like the flood! And with flood, a lot of diseases are attached on it. Like bacterias are in the flood and when people go directly to the flood without using any protection, bacterias could enter into their bodies and would result to some certain diseases.

Well, the main cause of flooding? The garbage! Most of the major drainage here are not functioning because they are full of garbage! I could say it is one of our country's major problems. Nope, I wont talk anything against the community here, about who is liable and anything. Just wanna be safe on my thoughts :)

Well, rain is not just about floods and diseases, it has also a good thing. It helps run the electricity. The water that would be collected from the rain will be using to help run the electricity, and sooner, the electric bills will be lessen, which is a good news to households earning quite little. As preparation for the rainy season, families here are now starting fixing their roofs with leaks, clearing their drainage and buying new umbrellas and other rain protections.

Also in this season, school starts. Most of the schools here are starting their classes tomorrow, June 4. Good thing at my school, our classes will start on June 12, but still bad because of the rain. Plus, inevitable traffic is now everywhere!

Let's just hope that typhoons that will be hitting our country are not as strong as the last two that struck us weeks or a month before the year 2006 had ended. I remember with those typhoons, a lot of giant billboards and big trees around Metro Manila and in the provinces fell down. Also, there was a nationwide blackout. It was really a disaster. Oh, not to mention the huge number of deaths and missing person. Of course, flood was a part of those typhoons. Aww, *sigh* I remember the late Miss Julia Campbell, she had also experienced those typhoons when she was still here in the Philippines living :(
Hope those kinds of calamities will not happen again :(

"It's just one more day,

No one said there would be rain again.

Wont blame it on myself,

I'll blame it on the weatherman"

Wonder if he misses me

I've been missing him for months now. This "he" had been a part of my life, but I didn't recognize before. No. Not until we got seperated. I was such a stupid not appreciating him, treating him badly and anything.

I thought I could never lose him, since he loved me so much. But the day came when he gave up. I've been missing him since then. I realized I still care for him. I used to treat him bad, but I cared for him, and I still do.

Yesterday, I couldn't take it anymore, so I invited him to see a movie. Fortunately, he showed up. It's been almost 11 months since the last time we met..exactly 324 days yesterday. I was surprised to see him dressed up and good looking than before. We talked 'bout a lot of stuff, but not 'bout how we used to be. He's still nice to me after all I've done to him. I've missed him, I wonder if he did miss me too :(

"Why do we never know what we've got 'til it's gone,

how could I carry on.

Cuz, I've been missing you so much,

I have to say"

Thank you for reading.

Huggies,

Rhea.

My Top 5 Fave songs ATM:

5. "Look After You" - The Fray

4. "Home" - Daughtry

3. "I'll Stand By You" - Carrie Underwood <<--- \m/

2. "Stolen" - Dashboard Confessional

1. "Pieces Don't Fit Anymore" - James Morrison

Year 5.

It's May 25. Five years ago, Aaron Yap, my online bestfriend, and I met.

So, this just comes to simple greet Aaron a happy anniversarry. Hope everything's gonna be fine on you.

Huggies.





Every now and then
We find a special friend
Who never lets us down
Who understands it all
Reaches out each time you fall
You're the best friend that I've found
I know you can't stay
But part of you will never, ever go away
Your heart will stay

I'll make a wish for you
And hope it will come true
That life will just be kind
To such a gentle mind
If you lose your way
Think back on yesterday
Remember me this way

I don't need eyes to see
The love you bring to me
No matter where I go
And I know that you'll be there
Forever more, a part of me
You're everywhere
I'll always care

And I'll be right behind your shoulder, watching you
I'll be standing by your side in all you do
And I won't ever leave
As long as you believe
You just believe

First Entry

I've been wanted to create my own blog, but I didn't have the confidence to start it. I've red a lot of blogs from my friends and others who I do not know, but still they couldn't influence me to start my own. Not because they don't do blogs nicely, but it's still because of the lacking of confidence. I thought posting entries 'bout how your life was in a particular day was a courageous deed, since you're posting it publicly.


Until I red Miss Julia Campbell's blog. She inspired me to start my own. Miss Julia was a Journalist/U.S. Peace Corps Volunteer to the Philippines that was killed here. Everybody said she was a great person. I got interested, so I searched for her blog. In her blog, there are a lot of nice stuff that happened to her. I loved the way how she stated those.


Miss Julia's death affects me. I've followed the investigation of the case through news on TV, prints and on the radio. I even sacrificed my fave FM station just to listen to AM stations and be updated on the case. All-day long during those days, I locked myself in my room to stay tuned in to AM stations. I even missed out watching my fave TV shows. I also wanted to join the investigation team, but that was impossible. I find it so strange, cuz I don't know her personally, I didn't even know that there was a such name Julia Campbell existing. Ofcourse, I prayed justice for her.


Miss Julia was first reported missing. 10 days later, a dead body was found, in decomposing stage, and was suspected to be hers. Examinations has been made and the result matched. The found dead body was Miss Julia's. Report said she was brutally killed. Her body was found in a shallow grave near a trail in Mt. Banaue Rice Terraces. Mt. Banaue is named as the Eighth Wonder Of the World. She went there to hike by herself alone.


It took several weeks for the killer to come out. He surrendered himself to the authorities and admitted the crime. He is now convicted to MURDER! Thank God. My prayers paid off.


In her blog, there are a lot of good memories she mentioned. All 'bout her stay here, her thoughts 'bout Filipinos and its culture and many more nice stuff. According to the people she was with, Miss Julia was a great and a lovely person. She helped a lot of people here, she did everything selflessly. They said Miss Julia is a big lost to them.


As I was reading her blog, I felt the warmth of her personality and how great person she was. She inspired me, so I'm dedicating my very first entry to her. I can't believe I have my own blog now. A big thanks to her. She didn't know how she touched lives, not only mine, but all those she was with. I wish she could read this :(


If I could exchange my life for someone who passed away, that would be Miss Julia Campbell. She deserves to live longer. She died at 40, and should have not died at a young age as that :(


It's exactly one month now since she passed away, hope she's happy wherever she is right now.


"It's something unpredictable, but in the end it's right. Hope you had the time of your life".



I wanna thank as well, my dear bestfriend, Aaron Yap. Thank you for assisting me and welcoming me to the world of blog. Nope, it doesn't mean your blog didn't influence me, I just needed the confidence to start it and I found it on Julia.


Thank you for reading.


Huggies, Rhea.